Thursday, June 13, 2013

Musings of a Seminary Wife: A new meaning of "ours"

So, as I mentioned awhile back, I would like for this blog to become an encouragement to other seminary wives. When I first started looking for blogs that would give me a peek into the life of a fellow seminary wife and mom I couldn't find any!! I'm beginning to realize it is probably because they are working in order to get their husbands through school and don't have time to blog BUT...that is a topic for another day. :)

We've only been here for two weeks so I hesitate to make any generalizations or observations. However, I think that this topic of "ours" relates to marriage, seminary, and ministry regardless of what point you are at.

There's several marriage phrases that we throw around.
"What's mine is yours, and what yours is mine!"
"It's not yours, it's ours"
"Marriage brings the two together."
Maybe you can think of some more.

For me, this one-ness in regards to ministry has been the hardest thing about marriage for me. You have two sinful individuals who both have God-given callings and passions. And when these two become one, all of their visions for ministry and calling have to merge as well. It is the Lord who calls us to do anything, and so we have no reason to worry, but it can still be really hard!

Here's an analogy: Imagine that a husband and wife each hold a puzzle piece. The two pieces were designed by the artist to fit together, but only after some refining. Some holes will need to be filled, and some of the little arms will need to be cut down in order to fit. Finally, after some work, the two pieces can be wiggled together. However, after a few years of sitting on a dusty coffee table, the pieces begin to warp and bend. The artist realizes that it is time to reshape them a bit more. He shaves out some crevices and rounds out the arms until they fit together once more. And this process happens again and again and again in the puzzle's life.

So it is with us! These puzzle pieces are our individual ministries. Together, they become one big picture, a joint ministry. But sometimes, one of your callings is shaved away for a time to make room for the other person's.

I believe that my greatest calling is adoption and orphan advocacy. I have always felt this, and believe that I always will- because it is what I was made to do. So when we got married I thought, "Yaay! I have someone else who can pursue this with me. We can start planning for adoption!" I was a little off in my thinking. Yes, we have been planning and dreaming of starting the adoption process. Yes, Spencer has been someone who is pursuing this calling with me. He has been more than I could ask for, and I know that he will be a passionate advocate for our children when the time comes. However, the Lord also showed me that now is the time for me to pack away a little of that calling for now in order to open up space for seminary, because that is what my husband is called to do right now.

And so the Lord and I have worked on making space in my heart for seminary, and my primary ministry right now is encouraging my husband through words and deeds. Cleaning the house, grocery shopping, running errands, doing laundry, cooking, and packing his lunch everyday is what God has called me to do. It is making the bond between our puzzle pieces strong.

But this only works if I humbly surrender my desires and grasp on to His. This is where "ours" comes in. My husband's call to ministry and seminary is mine by default. Because we are married, because we have become one, I must make his ministry my own.

There is an opportunity here for us as seminary wives to practice this every single day. When our husbands are studying all day long and we spend another quiet evening alone, we can remember and rejoice in the calling that God has given us and our spouses. He has called us to make our spouse's calling our own. To join with him and say, "Yes, we are here at seminary because we are called to do ministry." We can fight bitterness at our husband's calling and subsequent time that it requires because we know that it is our calling too.

So, if you are a seminary wife, have you taken your husband's ministry and calling as your own? Do you find yourself throwing a pity party or being angry at him for choosing to undertake a stressful and time-consuming career? Ask for joy in your part of this puzzle. Ask for the Lord to show you the big picture- not just the little glimpses.

And if you aren't a seminary wife, what ministries or callings has God asked you to put to the side for awhile for the sake of your joint ministry? Are you at peace with this or do you still have some work to do?

Jesus, give us hearts of surrender to Your will, discernment to your calling, and joy in your plans. We desire only You, and ask that you teach us how to reflect Your love to our husbands as we strive to work alongside and with Him in the ministry you've called us to.





1 comment:

  1. The Lord has been gracious to give you some great insights into your role as a Helpmeet during this season of life. May you find joy and fulfillment as you seek to honor Him and serve your mate.

    Love your heart and your writings!
    XOXO

    ReplyDelete